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#1

even more irish jokes

in Jokes Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:30 pm
by stuch | 85 Posts

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
> Paddy ordered a whisky.
> The stewardess asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.
> He replied in disgust "I'd rather be
> raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my
> lips!"
> Paddy handed his drink back and said
> "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
>>
> ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
>
> Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
> The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
> Paddy replies "I don't know! Its your f***ing plane!"
>
> ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
>
> Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
> Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off,
> I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
> He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts
> "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!"
> Murphy watches in amazement!
> The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"
> So he leaves the site.
> Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
> "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
> "I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.
>
> ------------ --------- --------oOo-------- ---------
>
> Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
> She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
> "You know what I want, don't you?"
> "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole feckin' bed by the looks of it!"
>
> -------------------- --------oOo- ---------
>
> Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on
> Arbroath beach was asked to identify her
> A detective held up the head to which point
> Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"
>
> ------------ --------- --------oOo---------- ---------
>
> Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
>
> "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"
>
> ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
>
> Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
> Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
> Paddy says "What's his name?"
> Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
>
>


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#2

RE: even more irish jokes

in Jokes Sat Mar 12, 2011 4:14 pm
by Adam • Founder | 304 Posts

c'mon mr stuch surely you have more?


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